[ShantariExtanu]

The 2009 Evony ad campaign went down with critics about as well as a stereotypical ghost and a black man - by which I mean TERRIBLE.

The ads started off with a, fair enough, dude in plate armor screaming at an invisible being in the middle distance. A little obscure seen as he was floating infront of a snapshot lovingly rendered straight from middle ages Yorkshire.

At one point the game changed its name to Civony. Shamelessly naming itself after the game it was bastardizing and then flouting it infront of the makers faces like a desperate stripper. Not only this but they decided to make the GAME *cough* more APPEALING. Namely by dressing a lampost in a fairy costume and nailing a couple of mangos to the front. Nonetheless, this isn't anything foreign to the game advertising market. Oh yeah and they asked you to 'start your journey, my lord.' Journey to where, I don't wanna know.

Back to 'Evony'. The third ad featured two well-endowed young ladies in what appear to be wedding dresses, hugging up to each other. One of them is holding what I can definatly see could be interpreted as a sex toy... Yep... I wouldnt be suprised seen as the lady on the right has a face on her like she was just asked to do something awful. I'll leave it there. Now the slogan has changed to "Save your lover! Play now, my lord". Making the victim feel powerful.. right.. I'd like to point out at no time in the game do you even get the notion you're trying to save your dearest by the way.

"Help! Save the Queen!" She has cyanide in her tea at buckingam palace! Now stop playing that game with nothing to do with saving the queen! Hurry old bean! The new ad is getting worse. More false advertising with the command to save the queen, yet once again, in the game, there is no saving of the monarchal type whatsoever... Also that Queen has rather big melons... and is just begging to be dominated in that pose... ohh...

Hold on now, the 5th advert made me wonder. "Is this an MMORTS or is a porn game?" Why I hear you ask? Well apparently now ye unwashed masses can "Play DISCREETLY on your browser NOW!". Are they implying this game is for some sex starved husband / office worker who wants to knock off a crafty one? Or is it directed at immature fools who don't know when to stop playing games? The world will never know.

The sixth banner... Right. I'm going to revolutionize Evony's ad campaign by slightly modifying this one. I'm sure you've all seen this somewhere and been DISGUSTED by its appaulingly blatant attempt to draw 13 year olds in with what can only be described as "Just a pair of tits." Allow me to sum Evony up in my own banner at this point: http://i213.photobuc...onyCampaign.png

After that little rant, I will provide links to all the pictures seen as you're all wondering wtf I'm waffling on about.

Everything Wrong with the Internet in One Gaming Banner Ad Campaign

You'll find all the pics I've made references too in order on that sight, each paragraph above refers to each one in numerical order.

On another note, I would like to point out the other mistakes Evony has made.

• Stealing graphics from: Age of Empires: The Age of Kings and Age of Mythology
• Copying description directly from: Sid Meier's Civillizations III and IV
• The owning company of the game (Universal Multiplayer Game Entertainment (UMGE)) have been found having links to WoWMine, a Chinese World of Warcraft gold farming company.
• Using spam to promote their game.
• The woman in a fairy costume from ad #3 was a graphic ripped straight from Costume Craze - Child and Adult Costumes

I think the makers and developers of this game are filthy bastards that deserve to be jailed.

Discuss, hate, criticize, eat, pray, queef.

[Cris]

Haha, great review on an otherwise terrible game

+1